Brown

Apr. 2020 | Written by Joey

Dear World, 

Brown is a color, but for me, it is an identity. It has to be. In a white dominated, cishet world, I live in a space that means it is easy to peg me as “other” without someone really understanding exactly what “other” I am. Not quite a girl, but not exactly a boy; probably not straight, but maybe not gay, either? Not any of the recognizable Asians, but where does that put me? For me, I settled on definitively brown. 

Brown is a definition that isn’t easy to define — where do we put brown on the rainbow? Is my brown the same as your brown? Is brown a binary — does being “brown” make you not “white”, and vice versa?

Brown is the part of me that is obvious from the start. White people would say I’m more caramel than chocolate. I would describe my skin color as more autumnal — depending on my lighting and my mood. But brown is more than just skin deep — it colors my everyday actions and my background, too. 

I live in a world dominated in white — so to be brown for me is a radical act. Being brown is not just about how people perceive me, but also about feeling good in my own skin. Brownness is about loving who I want how I want. Brownness is about rejoicing in the spaces in between binaries. 

So the world looks at me and sees “brown”. So what? Brown is who I am.